Blackberrys

I'm not against Blackberrys, they certainly have some value, but whenever I look at a user's screen they're almost always playing Brick Breaker or Solitaire. They also, almost always, tell me to stop looking at their screen and, on an unrelated note, put my pants back on.

It irks me to see teenagers - and it irks me even more to see teenagers on Blackberries. If you're still in school and/or don't have a job, you don't need a Blackberry; you don't really even need to be out in public but that's a battle that's bigger than me.

The thing that rattles my snake most about Blackberry users is that they're completely unable to both read a message and get the hell out of my way at the same time. I'm not a patient person to begin with but waiting for some suit and tie to wander out of an elevator, so engrossed in an e-mail that he's completely unaware that there are other people on the planet, makes me wish I could shoot lasers out of my eyes and blow heads apart. That skill would actually come in handy on a number of occasions; can't see the movie screen because some pumpkinhead is sitting in front of you, want to impress a date, stuck beside a bore at a cocktail party.

Getting back to the clueless Blackberry user; unless the e-mail message states that an army of zombies has arisen and is intent on creating a new world order in which the plumpest members of the human species will be turned into slaves and forced to subsist on a diet of human flesh and vegetables, it's not nearly as important as getting the hell out of my way.