Five More Days

The Relay for Life starts at 7:00pm on June 12. Our team is incredibly excited about the Relay this year because they will be giving signs to teams that raise $5000 Bronze, $7500 Silver or $10,000 Gold. The Super Karate Monkeys are currently at around $4400 including offline pledges. That means we have a chance at a bronze sign. There's nothing I'd like more than to get that sign and strut around the track as if I were the cock of the walk. I've been called a cock many times - many, many times - but this would be different. I suppose it would also be nice to raise $5000.00 for the Canadian Cancer Society.

As the captain and best looking member of the team I set my goal at a lofty $1500.00 and am happy to say I achieved it. Now that the crunch is on I've raised the bar and added another $200.00 to the goal. The only other time I've raised the bar is during a limbo competition. I managed to make it through by tipping my head back ever so slightly.

So, I guess what I'm asking is can you help a brother out? Forward this link to anybody you know who has $5.00 and the desire to help eradicate a deadly disease.

Dave's Donation Page

P.S. Donations of $20 or more will receive a tax receipt and a visit from either Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie depending on your sexual preference and/or willingness to experiment.

Disclaimer: You probably will not receive a visit from either Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie.

I Am The Biggest Loser

I wanted to update everyone on the Biggest Loser contest. I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won.

Sorry, my emotions got the better of me. I lost a whopping 14% of my starting weight (I was going to say “body weight” but then thought, what other kind of weight is there? I’m pretty sure my head was included in the weighing). 14% is an impressive number when talking about weight loss. Not so impressive when it’s the final mark on a physics exam. Incidentally copper wire, contrary to popular belief is an excellent conductor of electricity, may my lab partner rest in peace.

The person who came in second place lost a remarkable 9% of his starting weight. Our agreement was that only the top two percentages would become public knowledge. The others in the contest will have their information declassified 50 years after the last one of us is dead. Yes, it’s that top secret.

An Unrelated Note
Thank you to all of those who have already pledged me for for the Relay for Life. For those who haven't - good news - it's not too late. The Relay is on June 20th so get your pledge in while you can. Pledges can be made by going to my Relay for Life page (see links on the right side of the page) and clicking Pledge Me. If you don't want to pledge online and live in the GTA I will come to you. You simply have to give me directions to your dwelling, a copy of the key, instructions on where you keep your chequebook, a clean, legible copy of your signature suitable for forging and I'll take care of the rest.

My goal is $1000.00 and I've raised $565.00 thus far. Won't you be the person to donate $436.00 to put me over the edge or $10.00 to get me closer to the edge.