Christmas and New Years really is a magical time of year. For me it’s mainly because of the abundance of eggnog. I love eggnog. I don’t just mean that I find the taste enjoyable. I mean that I paint faces on the cartons and pretend they’re my children. I once tried to make it myself which is not advisable. Eventually my eyebrows grew back and I adapted well to having only one thumb.
Most years I don’t take any time off around Christmas. I just find that the office is fairly quiet and you get out early on the 24th and 31st so it’s kind of a waste of vacation days. This year though I took a few days off and was looking forward to 9 straight days to myself. I had big plans. Install an elevator in the apartment (it’s only one story but sometimes I like to drop in unannounced on the neighbors), reformat my computers, read and correct the complete works of Shakespeare (good writer, terrible speller), teach myself German and take another crack at eggnog making, to name a few. Sadly, this did not pan out. Why, read on and I’ll explain.
On the 24th my brother and I drove to our papa’s. The plan was we would stay overnight and leave sometime in the evening on Christmas day. My dad being well aware we’d be staying over had nothing prepared for us. I’m not expecting to be tucked in at night with a mint on the pillow but a pillow would have been nice. He gave us each a bath towel which he laughingly referred to as a blanket and two Kleenexes that if folded properly he claimed would be more than adequate for a pillow. I slept about 18 seconds that night and woke up shivering and with a blinding headache. The rest of the day was your usual Christmas hullabaloo, opening presents, eating turkey, etc.. We left in the evening and I spent the next 6 days wallowing in my own misery and coughing up the majority of my internal organs (if anyone needs a kidney I have one in my sock drawer). Needless to say I did not progress very far with my German lessons. Frohes Weihnachtsfest, leck mich am arsch!
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