New York - May 06, 2008

I went to New York and Boston over May 6 – 11^th. I was hoping to do daily blog updates but the wireless connections in the hotels were terrible. Plus, I was really tired at the end of each day.

I’ll still spread out the entries by day to keep things easier in my little pea brain. I should also mention that I had a traveling companion; you may know her as Auntie Monkey.

We decided to drive to the airport ourselves and park there. The reduced rate lot is $65.00 a week and there was a 20% off coupon on the website so the amount was actually $52.00. The reduced rate parking lot was packed, what a bunch of cheapskates, we ended up parking at the back of the lot. You then have to take a train to the terminal. The trains come fairly frequently, and despite all the cars in the lot, were practically empty.

I got in the wrong line at customs. The guy ahead of me seemed to be trying to use his business card as identification and the customs officer was oblivious to the growing line-up at his booth. I switched lines with no success as that customs officer wanted to get to know each person as a friend and dismiss with all this stuffy customs business. I finally got through, even with my carry-on full of tiger blood. I did have to dispose of my orange though.

In the washroom at the airport there is a vending machine that sells:

1. Condoms – in case you get lucky while waiting for your flight to Duluth.
2. Polo cologne – you increase your chance of getting lucky if you smell like the gymnasium at an all-boys Catholic high school.
3. Looney Tunes temporary tattoos – these will entertain your illegitimate child while you are getting lucky.

The flight was on a tiny plane but otherwise uneventful. We had prepaid for a shuttle to the hotel and went in search of that. This was a terrible ride. The driver barely spoke, he just kind of grunted and we intuited to follow him. The shuttle was van size with three rows of 3 seats. We made three more stops at the airport to pick up more passengers until the van was at capacity and then dropped each of them off individually. The shuttle ride took a half hour longer than the flight.

Checking into the hotel was very smooth. The front desk woman asked how many keys I would like and I told her 27. I’m a very friendly person but I don’t want to stay in the room to let people in all the time.

The hotel was nice enough for the price. I think hostels run around $200.00 a night in Manhattan.

Approximately four seconds after we checked in (Auntie Monkey doesn’t like to sit still) we went to play the giant game of Frogger that is New York traffic. Here are a few of my observations:

• The time between a traffic light turning green and the time you hear the first horn blast can be measured in nanoseconds.
• New Yorkers are always in a hurry with the exception of when there is a vehicle barreling toward them; then, it’s saunter time.
• Traffic lines are merely suggestions.
• No matter how far you stand in the middle of the street waiting to cross, some New Yorker is going to elbow his way ahead of you in order to get to the other side a fraction of a second faster.
• Sidewalks may be driven on provided they are a faster way of getting somewhere.