Monday, July 27, 2009

Humanity's Greatest Achievement

I'm going to tell you what the greatest achievement is but why don't you take a guess first. Putting a man on the moon? Nice try, but incorrect. The printing press? How about you pull your head out of your ass and give it another shot. Splitting the atom? Forget it, it's like I'm talking to a monkey. Humanity's Greatest Achievement is the Elvis Shake at Dangerous Dan's Diner. A delicate blend of chocolate ice cream, peanut butter and banana combine to make something that not only caresses your taste buds but feels like someone is making sweet sweet love to them.

Dangerous Dan's is located at Broadview and Queen and serves food that could kill a horse. The small poutine will feed a family of four.

I'm not sure where the name Dangerous Dan's comes from . Certainly the restaurant is not somewhere I'd ever feel safe setting foot in. I imagine rusty nails, used syringes and broken beer bottles littering the floor while former and future inmates grope at me and make catcalls.

Perhaps Dan is dangerous. A psychotic fry cook who will fly off the handle at the slightest provocation.

While these are both strong possibilities I think the name came from a doctor looking at the menu, shrieking in disgust and petitioning the Heart & Stroke Foundation to shut them down.

Below are the two most horrendous offerings:

The Coronary Burger Special
2 8oz Patties
4 Slices of Bacon
2 Slices of Cheddar
a Fried Egg on top
Served w/ Fries and Gravy

Quadruple C "Collosal Colon Clogger Combo"
24oz burger
quarter pound of cheese
quarter pound of bacon
2 fried eggs.
comes with a large shake and a "small" poutine

While I'd rather walk barefoot through a field of pig entrails and donkey vomit than enter Dangerous Dan's, I've got no problem with placing an order for delivery, setting up my defibrillator and salivating until the food arrives.

1 comment:

Meredith said...

Somehow I missed this entry along the way. I will be trying this soon. Yum.