Cobourg Highland Games Festival

The weekend before last I went to the Cobourg Highland Games Festival. For some odd reason I've always wanted to see the Heavy Events (hammer tossing, caber tossing, sheaf tossing). I was not disappointed.

I was unaware that the caber toss is a contest of accuracy rather than distance. The goal is to toss the caber so it rotates once and lands pointing straight ahead. Comparing the toss to the numbers on a clock, a perfect toss is 12:oo o'clock. The announcer kept yelling out "2 o'clock, 4' o'clock, 11:59" and I thought maybe he'd had too much of the sauce, after all the Games' motto is "Don't drink whiskey without water or water without whiskey". One caber toss came within about three inches of landing on some guy's van.

I did not get to see the legendary Kevin Fast compete as he was tossing later in the day and there is only so much bagpipe music a man can stand. Kevin Fast is a Lutheran Pastor with a doctorate degree in Ministry (D. Min.) who just happens to hold the world record for heaviest truck pull. Two disparate accomplishments that impress me to no end.

I did see his son compete in the amateur division of the heavy events competition. He looked like a young Jason Priestly and tossed the caber like . . . sorry, I'm not familiar enough with great caber tossers to make an adequate comparison.

One of the other events at the festival was The Blades of Glory (http://www.bladesofglory.ca/); a group of performers who teach medieval history while staging sword fights. Some of the performers are Talus the Dragonlord, Gunthar the Slayer, Throttigarr Stormbringer and Malcolm. I'm guessing Malcolm had a little trouble coming up with a fearful medieval name.

The performance was well done but the illusion evaporated when I saw Sir Frederick Wallace the Great having a smoke and reading People magazine.

Finally, one of the most ingenious things I have ever seen was a member of the drum corps resting a plate of poutine on her snare drum.

How many times have you been somewhere, a picnic, barbecue, some other crowded family gathering where you can't sit at the table because it's reserved for Aunt Ethel and Uncle Mortimer and all the other ancient, dilapidated relatives so you have to eat standing up and somehow precariously balance your plate and beverage while cutting your food into bite-sized pieces so you don't end up shoving an entire piece of cake in your mouth?

Well my friends your troubles are over. Behold, the Pearl Championship Aluminum Snare Drum Plate and Beverage Carrier.

Strap this on, secure your plate and beverage and your life just got a whole lot easier. Eat, drink, juggle - the possibilities are endless.