As a portly man I find it difficult to buy clothes that fit me properly. And by "fit me properly" I of course mean clothes that make me look like a manlier version of John Wayne. I go to these Big & Tall shops but what they fail to realize is that everyone who's big is not necessarily tall so the dress shirts I buy make me look like a nine year old trying on Daddy's suit. The casual shirts all make me look like a guy who would pour coconut milk all over himself and then fall into the fire pit at a luau.
Even though I have a waist the circumference of a giant sequoia I don't have the height to match so why do my pants have an inseam of 103 inches? I bought one pair of pants in 1984 and I'm still using the material leftover when they were hemmed. So far I have a tablecloth, drapes, 2 more pairs of pants and a comforter. Let me know if anyone needs a Jordache winter coat.
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