Whitchurch-Stouffville Strawberry Festival

Last Saturday I went to the Whitchurch-Stouffville Strawberry Festival. The festival itself was pretty run of the mill but they did have two of the most horrendous mascots I've ever seen. One was a strawberry, which makes sense based on the name of the festival, and the other was a large round yellow thing that I suspect represented the sun as it was standing at the Small Town Sun newspaper booth. Needless to say, after pushing a few kids out of the way, I got my picture taken with both of them.

The strawberry looked like a tomato that had seen better days. Monkey took the picture but it was a little too close and parts of me and Strawberry were cut off. I asked Strawberry if I could get another picture to which he/she replied "mmmphh", apparently the costume wasn't very conducive to enunciation.

After I got the picture taken with the sun she lifted up her mask and shouted at a kid passing by "Adam go home you're bothering everyone."

Jabberjaw has an obsession with mascots and may well have the largest collection of mascot photos in the world. The best part of her photos is that the majority of time the mascot doesn't even know she's there. She'll casually sidle up to a family that has gathered for a photo, or run beside a mascot, pausing to flash a smile to the camera, and then run off to the next one. It's an operation that requires split second timing and her husband Gook Gook is certainly up to the task. Because of her tenacity and stealth and Gook Gook's quick trigger finger Jabberjaw can been seen in more family photos at Disney World than Mickey Mouse.

On the drive to the festival I spotted a sign that read "Swimming Lessons - In Your Pool" which seemed to me like an ideal way to earn some money while getting free use of a pool. Bearing that in my mind I present the following courses:

• "Film Studies - Using Your Own Large Screen HD TV - act now and we'll throw in, absolutely free, How to Cook Microwave Popcorn in Your Microwave"
• "How to Cook and Eat Lobster in Your Kitchen"
• "Maximize Your Hot Tub's Potential"
• "Is Your Bed as Comfortable as it Could Be? Let Our Sleep Expert Be the Judge."
• "How to Make Love to Your Wife - Using Your Wife"