It's Been a Long Time

I haven't posted anything for a while but there's a very good reason for it; I'm incredibly lazy and I'm a bit of (a complete) dickhead.

Kirk Cameron is a complete idiot. I know, I know, harsh words for a formerly beloved 80s sitcom star but this guy is just off the charts moronic. Kirk is now a Christian minister who is trying to convince the world that evolution is a myth. His "proof" that evolution is a myth is a photoshopped picture of a duck with the head of a crocodile. He states that if evolution were true we should have seen crocoducks around, which is a stupid name anyway, they'd obviously be called duckodiles.

Being a minister Kirk is making an effort to steer people away from atheism however he fails to realize that a belief in scientific fact (evolution) does not automatically equate to atheism. There are many people who believe in evolution but also have a strong belief in god, I think the pope is one of them. There are probably not as many who don't believe in either though;

"Evolution's a crock."
"Oh, you believe in a benevolent being who created everything in 6 days just by saying 'let there be . . .'"
"Oh no, no, no , no ,no - I'm an atheist."
"Then how do you think we all got here?"
"On rainbow coloured unicorns bred by magical leprechauns in an underground fudge factory."
"I'm going to go stand over there now."

Kirk's partner in the ministry is Ray Comfort. Ray looks like a man who would perform weddings at the Shotgun Chapel in beautiful Las Vegas.

Ray is known as the "Banana Man", not only because he is cuckoo bananas but because he once expounded a theory that, because of the following reasons, the banana is proof that god designed the world:

1. Is shaped for the human hand
2. Has a non-slip surface
3. Has outward indicators of inward content (i.e., colour indicates ripeness)
4. Has a tab for easy removal of its wrapper
5. Is perforated on the wrapper for easy peeling
6. Has a biodegradable wrapper
7. Is shaped for the human mouth
8. Is pleasing to the taste buds
9. Is curved towards the face to make the eating process easy

This kind of argument enrages me so much that my eyes bleed. Yes, the banana does fit nicely into the human hand but I think there are a couple of other fruits that aren't so convenient, like the watermelon. And speaking of easy peeling let's talk about the pomegranate; there's nothing I like better than spending a day and a half digging a handful of seeds out of a tough as leather rind. Finally, have you ever seen a durian? These things are as easy to peel as a hedgehog and smell like somebody vomited bleach on a bag of rotting onions. If god is using his infinite power to design fruit he really jerked us around with the durian.

I'm not entirely convinced by point nine either; I've had some bananas that curved away from my face when eating them. I pulled a neck muscle trying to take the first bite.

Hey Comfort, if you think the banana is shaped for the human mouth I've got something else that you may enjoy.