It's Over

The Relay for Life took place last Friday. Everything went very well. I raised $2,200.00 and the team raised $9,379.00. We were the first place team up until the final week when, out of nowhere, the Brides' Project (if that is their real name) came up with a huge donation and pushed us down to second. They were like snipers hiding in the bushes just waiting for the perfect opportunity to shoot us down.

We were able to erect a tent this year that fit more than one person. Last year, we brought a wonderful tent that was missing poles. I suggested all my teammates stand outside and hold a corner up while I rested peacefully inside. This was not met with the enthusiasm I had hoped for. We ended up erecting my "two person" tent which was very roomy if you happened to be a circus midget and could put your ankles behind your neck. By the way, on the off chance you are a circus midget that can put your ankles behind your neck, contact me, I may have a job for you.

This year we brought the same tent and made sure we had the poles. We did not, however, make sure the poles were complete. After spending 3 hours trying to thread the elastic through the pole pieces and enduring the trash talking of the group on the site next to us we gave up.

Incidentally, the trash talking group next to us is called the Downtown Knit Collective. They're made up mostly of retired women who knit scarves throughout the night and then donate them to the Canadian Cancer Society. Oh, and they drip attitude. We were situated beside them last year and, while I won't go into details, a cashmere scarf using a clove hitch makes an incredibly useful restraint against a 79 year old woman and leaves no bruises.

After giving up on the four person tent we went to our back-up two person tent. A different one from last year that actually fit two people. Now you might think, oh, that was very clever that they brought a back-up tent. Au contraire, what would have been clever is if we'd checked the poles of the main tent. Anyway, we got the tent up without incident and I crawled into it just before the rain started down.

After the Relay, because I wasn't tired enough, I went with Auntie Monkey to Snake and Rooster's house to babysit them for the day. It was the first day of the softball season for Snake so she had two games and a team photo. All spaced far apart and all in different locations. When I wasn't standing in the rain watching 9 year olds play softball I was back at the house lying on the couch. Apparently my lying on the couch sends a message to the girls to use me as a human bouncy castle.

The highlight of my weekend though may have been when we went to the schnitzel house for dinner. On entering, the host asked us if we were with the Corey party. I asked if Corey was taking care of the tab in which case we were most definitely part of the party. Monkey however said, "who's Corey". The host then said "oh, we have a lot of kids here for Corey's party so I thought you may have been with them."

What kind of a kid has his birthday party at a schnitzel house? I soon found out and Corey looked exactly like the kind of kid that would have his party at the schnitzel house. The lederhosen and copy of Mein Kampf under his arm were a dead giveaway. I think Herr Corey may have schnitzeled his pants when everyone yelled Uberraschen!!!