Craigslist

A couple of nights ago I sold a laptop via Craigslist. This was the first time I had used Craigslist and was pretty pleased with it. I put up an ad and within five minutes had about six responses. I replied to the first guy around noon and he said he’d be able to meet me at 7pm to make the purchase. At 6:15pm I received an e-mail from him saying that he would not be able to buy the laptop because he didn’t have any money. This led me to wonder what happened in the previous six hours. Did he have money and then was robbed or perhaps he donated it to purchase new fezzes for circus monkeys. On the other hand he may have been hoping to earn the money in the six hours and came up short.

I called the next guy on the list at around 6:30pm and he said he could meet me at 8:45pm. I asked to meet at a Tim Hortons in my neighbourhood because I’ve found in the past that when you’re selling shoddy merchandise to people it’s best not to give your home address. He asked how he would recognize me and I replied that I’d be wearing a red baseball cap. This seemed to stump him and he paused for a bit before muttering, “oh, um, I was planning on wearing a red baseball cap.” I was thinking of telling him that he still could, it wouldn’t confuse me but he said he would wear a grey one. Can you imagine the chaos if we both wore red baseball caps? I’d see him and shriek in terror because I’d know I was wearing a red baseball cap but that guy looks nothing like me. I assumed he’d look nothing like me because he’s 75. My friend asked how I knew he was 75 and the answer is because he told me. Once you reach a certain age, I’m not sure what the exact age is, you’re obligated to tell everyone you speak to how old you are. Some people will follow this up with “years young” as in “75 years young”. At this point you are legally allowed to punch them in the face but it is frowned upon.

The guy sat down and like all people 75 and older proceeded to prattle on about subjects completely unrelated to the task at hand. I don't really give a rat's ass that you used to do typesetting for old man Winterbottom's half-sister's fiance in the 30s and that's how you got to meet the woman who posed for the Sun-maid raisin box. After 45 minutes he finally gave me my money. I distracted him by saying that one of the customers in line looked like Andy Griffith (who is the patron saint of the elderly) and ran out the door cackling.

One last thing, on the streetcar today a blind man got on. A woman near the front tried to take his hand so she could lead him to a seat. The streetcar was very crowded though so she was having a difficult time. The guy in the very front seat finally noticed and got up to give the blind man his seat. As he got up he said, "sorry, I didn't see you there." Nice. I wonder if he goes to schools for the deaf and says the problem with children today is that they just don't listen.