So Fat

I went for a physical last week and for the first time in my life my doctor told me I should lose weight. I know I'm fat. I don't need a doctor to tell me this; I sweat gravy for goodness sake. I haven't seen my feet since the late 80s and I get short of breath if I type too fast. However, when a doctor tells you to lose weight it's time to do something. I know it's not going to be easy but I vow to find a doctor who is fatter than me. When I was living with my parents we had a family doctor who weighed close to 400 pounds and he was great. One time he mentioned to my father that he should drop a few pounds and my dad said "no problem, just give me your exercise regime." The doctor never mentioned it again.

I also had to get blood taken as part of the physical. This is normally not a terribly onerous procedure but I guess he wanted to test everything so he requested a lot of blood. I had to fast for 12 hours prior to the bloodletting. This was difficult for me to do because I usually wake up around 4am and scarf down a couple of BLTs (sans the LT) just to get me through to wake-up time. The lab was supposed to open at 8am and wanting to get it over with and wanting to take the least amount of time off work as possible (just in case my boss reads this) I got there a few minutes before to ensure I would grab the first number. There was a sign on the door saying that the lab wouldn't open until 9am. Great 12 hours of not eating for nothing. I went back the next day at 8am and they were open and I was third in line. I would have been second if I was able to wrestle the number out of the old lady's hands but she was surprisingly feisty for an 82 year old. They call my number, I go in and the nurse has already dropped a couple of things on the floor leading me to wonder how sanitary these conditions are. Is she going to pick those up and use them on the next person? She took 7 vials of blood and knocked 2 empty (thank goodness) containers off the counter.

We'll find out next week if I've got the black lung or not.