Day Four

Today we went to Stanley Park. What an incredibly massive place. To be quite honest I can’t really remember what we did there. I know we saw a flower garden and some totem poles. The two things that stand out most in my mind are; the girl in the wetsuit and the lard-ass in high heels. The girl in the wetsuit is a bronze statue inspired by the little mermaid statue in Copenhagen. In my opinion neither one is all that spectacular but both seem to be very popular. The lard-ass in high heels was a lard-ass wearing pink camouflage pants and stiletto heels. “I’m going hiking today what footwear should I choose? Something that will make my feet blister and swell and possibly hobble me for life seems like a good choice.”

After Stanley Park we met up with Ahnes and Charles and they took us to a place called Deep Cove. The place looked beautiful from the car window which is how we had to view it because there were no damn parking spots. Since we couldn’t find parking at Deep Cove we went to Mount Seymour. I was quite excited about this because I consider myself something of an aficionado of the adult film series “Seymour Butts”. Well, there were few butts to be found on Mount Seymour. The adventure ended with a trip to Rice Lake. There were hiking trails or some such nonsense at Rice Lake. I decided to skip the trails because hiking is very much like walking except it is usually done uphill in a hot sticky environment with countless insects wanting a taste of your sweet sweet blood. Once the others finished hiking we were supposed to make another stop but I hadn’t eaten for over six hours at this point (I usually go no more than fifteen minutes) and was in an advanced stage of crankiness.

We headed back to Ahnes and Charles’s where Ahnes cooked up another fabulous dinner. Rose would like everyone to know that she drove back to the hotel but was too tired to give me the beating I so richly deserve. Perhaps tomorrow.