Get in Line, Jerkwad!!!

This irritates me probably way more than it should but it seems that the majority of the population no longer knows how to form a line. The Tim Hortons in the building where I work has two entrances, two cashes, two painfully slow cashiers and about 8 other people milling about behind the counter refusing to make eye contact with customers for fear they'd have to take an order. For my Colombian readers Tim Hortons is a large coffee and doughnut chain in Canada. That's right, I'm huge in Colombia (well, 6 visitors so far).

I've painstakingly drawn an exact replica of the Tim Hortons restaurant for your viewing enjoyment.

Okay it looks pretty crappy but you get the gist of the layout.

Now this is how I think people should line up:
Yes, those little circles are supposed to be people who are all exactly the same size and have perfectly round heads.

This is how they actually line up:

Ridiculous. When you see a red guide rope why do you think it would be a better idea to stand right in the path of everybody who has already gotten their coffee and are now trying to get out. These people must have taken a course with my father who has the incredible ability to stand in the most awkward spot at the most awkward of times. I'm certain he'd stop a funeral procession to ask a pallbearer if he's ever seen "Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death". Also, after a parade of people holding coffee have tried to squeeze past you saying "excuse me" maybe you'd clue in that you're in the way.

It's not just at this establishment either. The McDonalds across the street has to have one of the most inefficient setups I've ever seen. It's like they designed it to provoke animosity among the customers. When I was a child and went to McDonalds you chose a cashier and waited in that line. If there were six cashiers there were six lines and if you picked the slow one you'd bitch about it to whoever you were with or just stew silently. Now, people stand about 6 feet away from the counter and when one cashier becomes free they all stampede to that cash. Then the whole process starts over again. Also, when I was a child, you would place your order, and step to the side, so the person behind you in line could place their order. When it was time for them to step to the side your order would be complete, you'd move out of the way, they'd move to your spot and the person behind them would place their order. It was a beautiful system. Now, the cash registers are so close together that if you attempted to move to the side you'd step on the person at the next cash. Even if you were able to step to the side the orders aren't filled fast enough for you to get out of the way before the next person steps up. What we're left with is a crowd of people waiting for food mixed in with a crowd of people waiting to rush to a free cashier. Nobody that approaches has any idea who's waiting for what so the question "are you in line" is repeated like a mantra.

The way people line up maybe I am in line and don't know it.